Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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