okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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