this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
