He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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