I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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