I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
