I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize