Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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