Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
