there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
