I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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