Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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