your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
