TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
