I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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