whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
