I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
