hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
