So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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