you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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