Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
