You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this just has baby written all over it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Randomize
