I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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