Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We had sex on a dog bed..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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