roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
