we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
