its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
