Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Found your dick twin last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
