this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
