So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I need to stop coming to work sober
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
