why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
