is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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