have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
