Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
