i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
