Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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