so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
