Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
