He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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