I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
