I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
