This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
