dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
