dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
