i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So much rum. So many feels.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Couch. On fire.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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