I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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