I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
