North Korea, Best Korea!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Randomize
