when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
tell me about the eggs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
