I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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