like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
