Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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