I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
